Enigma | the most important

lost. she doesn't know herself. sexual abuse really makes her personality fucked up. even i have to tell her what's shit and what's food. otherwise, she'll eat anything people give to her.

she used to come to my house and cried for how far and long she lost. and i told her, get a life without me. do not too depending on me. and then, i lose all contacts with her, purposely. for weeks, until now. she really has to learn a life without depending on me. know what's shit and what's food.

and a few weeks later, we talked on the phone.

silent from sweet words.

trapped inside our hearts.

"can you live without me? without depending on me? one day, i might be gone. tomorrow or the following day, we never know. i can just be gone, die. you'll be alone. and you have to learn what's shit and what's food by yourself. stop depend on me!"

"i cannot live without you, that's the fact," she replied, crying, "but how i live my life without you, that's the most important."

and i mute.

tears drop.

but no voice of me.

just droplets.

heart vibrates.

and tears still drop.

fast.

and there were some words after that.

but i was just speechless.

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...for me to know that i have the one who love me with all her life.