Sotai | gloomy morning

there was a day when the sun at the morning didn't light my life.

i was heading to the restaurant, riding my father's 2-wheel-drive with only 5 sultans in my pocket. i wanted to have a nice breakfast. while driving, i had a cigarette at my mouth, blew some smoke like old folk guy gonna had a very nothing time on his lazy chair. and the air was very refreshing. perhaps that was the reason why i had Nepal in my head along the road.

and then, the vibrate of my 90s handset in my right pocket. i know, it was the signal of a message.

with my left hand on the steering, i pushed the button, opened it.

"you can mad at me, if you want. take care."

fuck it!

now, my cigarette felt like shit. Nepal was gone. the only thing i had in my head was nothing.

just blurry.

empty.

zilch.

and then, just like that, the light of sun faded away.

i changed my direction, got a different route. i didn't want breakfast. and i didn't know where i was going. but i was just driving, like Dean Moriarty drove his stolen car. and if, that was the only way to save some sultans, then i better get a coffin.

...to save in life is to spend the emotion.